i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
