quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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