I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
