how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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