Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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