dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
