we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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