i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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