ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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