We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
