The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
