You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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