Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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