apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
