Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
