and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
