dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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