I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
