Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
