The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
