I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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