is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
