Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
