What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
