It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
