Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
