I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
