no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
