Where are you?
In a non slutty way
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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