The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
