So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
