Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
