another moral hangover. fuck.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
