feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
