I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
