Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
