it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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