i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
