i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
