he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I have aggressive nipples.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
