i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
