brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
