and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
