Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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