Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
