At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
