haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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