Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
