Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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