i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
