We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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